"I never meant for you to get in this much…I didn’t mean to let you in like this…but I don’t mind it."
Once Upon A Time
Cuddling in the cold
Scratching your back
Truth or Dare
You stroking my hair
Telling you anything
The little things
Just had the literal most amazing, mind blowing sex ever while listening to 90s grunge pandora. Does it get any better? I think not.
If you’ve yet to experience the gloriousness that is morning sex, you’ve yet to live.
Tonight, after all the shit that went down, he asks: Is it too much that I wanna look out for you? Can’t I be protective of you? Would you be okay with that?
Just don’t understand..
I go along through my day and hope to God that I don’t hear your name. Or see it written somewhere, forgotten along the lines. I swear on my life I don’t love you but I just want to touch your neck and hold you in place against mine. And feel the complete tenderness that falls out of you when you kiss my cheek. And that is simply it but this is ever agonising, the way you don’t say my name how you used to. Oh, now it just burns, like the way you get so angry now. You are almost always angry. And I am always sad. And it seems we always clash, but sometimes just for a second. And then you are sweet and kind and funny and caring. And we are alright again but only for a day or two and what has this world come to when we can only be alright for a fleeting moment? I think I shall never know. But I know that I can’t lose this. Or you.
The way he strokes his hand down the side of my neck all the way down to my leg is intoxicating. Just the little things he does drives me insane. I love it.
Goodness I’m pathetic, y’all.
I just hate being alone.
In other news, I just gave my first blowjob the other day. Yay me.
I say, ‘twas fun. ;)
I was so incredibly anxious all night. R and I watched the rest of Cloud Atlas and then went to bed but I just couldn’t stop being anxious. He snuggled me and stroked my back and arms and face but it just wasn’t enough. I didn’t want to just lay there and be idle so I asked if he’d (you know lolz) and he did. Very slowly, warmly, tenderly. He held my head at one point and just drove into me so delicately. Lovely.
Man, morning sex is all kinds of lovely.
I asked R for a shirt to wear because the one I was in was tight fitting and uncomfy. He comes back in the room with a fricken Raiders shirt. Later we’re lying here and he goes: “You look damn good in my Raiders shirt.”
About to go on yet another girly rant about last night. Stop reading now if you do not wish to hear of the mushiness..
Last night was amazing. One of the best nights I’ve had in awhile. I rode around with him while he worked and we chatted and joked and he poked and tickled me and it was cute. We had serious moments too and talked about things we needed to talk about and he could tell I was distressed so he parked and made sure I was okay. Then he hugged me. It was sweet.
Then we went inside the pizza place and he introduced me to people as his friend (totally ok with, just glad he’s acknowledging me in public more now) and we laughed and he touched me and drank out of my drink and we played air hockey and he beat me and it was adorable. Then we went into the store and he introduced me to more people and he asked if I wanted a movie so we picked 42 (lulz) and then headed to his place and watched it.
After we watched it for awhile, I was getting sleepy so I asked him if he wanted me to head out and he said of course not, you can stay. So I rolled over and then he snuggled up to my back and nuzzled my neck (sweet Lord that drives me insane) and started touching me down there. Then in his deep, raspy voice: “Do you want me to make a move on you, dearie?” I just arched up against him and he got the hint. He pulled me under him and went at it. God, it was incredible. At one point we were both breathless and we just stared at each other, we could see each other in the candlelight (so cheesy lolz) and I grabbed the hair on his neck and he kept going. But that moment..sigh. Incredible. Can’t wait until the next time…
Tonight was quite lovely. Two rounds. God, he’s damn good in bed. We touched a lot, kissed a bit, laughed more than we have in awhile. Felt nice.